So long and thanks for reading...

Dear Readers,

It's about 8:00 in the morning, on a Tuesday. It's foggy outside, reminding me of San Francisco. Now seems like a good time to write this.

The Suite has been burned to the ground. A can of Kerosene and a book of matches, that’s all it took. Not literally, of course, but figuratively. The umbilical has been severed. We’ve had some good times and some not so good times. Mostly we wrote about the not so good times, but hey, can you really blame us? At least it was entertaining. (This is the part in the movie where the main characters cut their losses, move on, and eventually become rock stars. Cue Eye of the Tiger)

To all of our critics: you guys suck. There, I said it.

To all of our fans: you guys rule. You’re way more rawesome than all of those stupid critics.

Who knew this is where the ride was taking us. I guess it’s true what all those smelly hippies say: it’s not the destination, but the journey. Although, there sure were a lot of D-bags along the way.

We hope that you have enjoyed your time spent with us here at the Suite. But fear not! This is not the last you’ve heard from B and Ronsie. We will be starting a new publication entitled, The Teriyaki Blog. The TB will carry on the content you’ve grown to love from the Suite and give you some other fun stuff, too. We’ll also be joined by Daniel-san—long term friend and partial family to the Suite. Daniel-san is the guy usually referred to in a group as “the brains;” he also makes funnies and competes in the gallon challenge. The new trifecta will undoubtedly deliver for your reading pleasure.

So there you have it. If you ever hear me saying, “this one time, in Seattle…” you should listen in. You might just get to hear an epic story, an epic fail, or possibly just an angry comment about people that are dumb. Hopefully you all have some closure, I think we do. If we burned any bridges, we’re sorry (sort of, but not really). Looking forward to seeing you all at The Teriyaki Blog.

Best Regards,
B

What my Starbucks cup SHOULD say

Some people see the cup half empty. Some people see the cup half full. Oh, me? I don't see my cup at all, becuase you lost my order!

"Naw, it was me. I did it. I did them all."

So, you've probably noticed the Suite has been quiet lately. Congratulations! That's a very astute observation. Well, stay tuned, becuase we've got something very exciting headed your way. I hope you've got tickets.

Things I've learned in three weeks

I'll keep this short and concise...

1. Being sick sucks. And I'm pretty sure the makers of DayQuil have lowered its potentcy since the previous flu season.
2. Despite visiting my new parking garage twice a day (sometimes more), I still have a reoccuring fear that I'm going to be hit by a car in said garage.
3. Trying to fit in is a much more humbling experience than I remember.
4. I'm going to be an uncle, again.
5. Clay Akin seems to be the only person who thought his recent announcement was news.
6. Google, no one cares about your phone. Mr. Brin, please don't ever, ever wear roller skates to one of your press conferences again.
7. I wish I had more time to blog.

Outerspace, A.D.D., and some stuff to come

Okay, so I took a little break from blogging, sorry about that. But I’m back, in full affect. Some wondered if Ronsie and I had encountered “creative differences” and were on “an indefinite hiatus due to said differences.” Nope, that’s not the case. Ron’s still layin’ it out to play it out, in the physical suite 206. I’ve taken root on floor six (more details about that to come).

What have I been up to for the last month? Well, I did become an astronaut for a period of time. Given my short attention span, I’ve decided to put that on hold for a bit and pursue other career opportunities. I took some time off, dried out a bit, started fencing again, and am looking forward to some really exciting stuff over the next few weeks.

So, what’s in store for the suite in the next few weeks? Well, a few topics to be discussed by Dr. Ronsie and I will include:
-Why are there so many D-bags that can afford porches?
-The differences between Seattle and Bellevue, and why the Freeway system can go F itself.
-Career reflections: what we’ve learned in three years
-This one time, in Seattle (only a few people will understand this one)
-An educated guess: are all motorcyclists French? Maybe.

PS. Who's ready for It's Always Sunny in Philidelphia?

This Just In: Michelle Obama Can Kick My Ass

Yup, she can. I bet she can kick your ass too.

That is all.

An Open Letter to Victoria('s Secret)

Hey Vikki,

So, I remember when I was younger and I'd wait with baited breath to see your little catalog show up in our mailbox... I'd rush out to get the mail nearly every day in hopes that I'd snag that sweet bit of publication before my mom found it.

Back then your pages were adorned with beautiful women in scantily clad "outfits" and I won't like.. I love every second of it. I'm guessing that somewhere down the road a therapist will tell me it was my adolescent obsession with thumbing through the pages of each and every installment that's warped my sense of what my ideal woman should be, but I simply don't give a damn.

The lovely young lady who lived in our residence before us must have been an avid customer of yours because a catalog addressed to her recently shimmied through our mail slot and onto our entry way floor. I have to admit, upon seeing your name scrawled across the top of that gleaming magazine weight cover I got a little twinge of sentiment for days gone by...

However, when I opened the cover... no skin. Flip a couple pages - no skin. Flip a few more - HANDBAGS? What in the heck Vikki? What happened to the little bit of erotica wrapped in a growing corporate idea that used to bring me, my friends and a billion other sex-starved teens their daily dose of almost porn?

We're through...

Yours,

Ron

p.s. I'm don't mean it baby. Please take me back.