The Starbuck's Tit

I pulled into Starbucks this morning and there was a long ass line. Too long. I don't know if it was just all the stupid people, or my blatant addiction to coffee, but I was pissed. People need to find other coffee places so that I can get my fix. That's right, I said it. One nation, under a bare-chested mermaid, with liberty and some justice.

The Next Installment

Mario was deep in the koomba forest. Surounded by Koopa Troopas. He was tired, but lucky for him he was charged with his thoughts of princess. She's a... Well, "bunggggg." Mario reached into his pockets and found no turtle shells or banana peels. Damn. But then he found his Fire Flower and smoked those Koopas. They were all, "noooooo!" And he was all, "that's right bitches, say helloooo to my little friend!" It was sick.

And that's when Yoshi showed up to help Mario. In this my dear reader, we find out why Yoshi is such a crucial part of this story.

You see, Yoshi was unlike any of his dinosaur counterparts. Yoshi was, well, Yoshi was just a little 'different.'

You're hanging on every word, aren't you? Well, you'll have to delve into the comments of this post to find Mario's fate.

I Think I Love You

Friday! One of the few words that can ring happiness through any nine-to-fiver's heart. God I love Friday. It's really something glorious. If Friday were a date I'd take it out for steak dinner and call it back the next day. I'd bring Friday flowers if I could. Friday, I think I love you.

Fans: Godsend or Placebo Slowly Lulling Humans into a False Sense of Cool

I have two fans, well, three if you count the one on my ceiling. I don’t count that one, because I’ve never really known what ceiling fans were for. Are they to circulate? Cool? Push warm air down? Who knows… hey, if you know the guy who invented the ceiling fan, send him my way, I’ve got some questions for him.

Anyway, I’ve seriously been debating the whole usefulness of fans for a while now. They’re a great idea, but where is that tipping point where all they’re doing is blowing around warm air? What someone needs to invent are AC units the size of fans that take relatively the same amount of energy to run. Then we’d have something useful.

Until then, I’m going to sweat. You can deal with it until it pisses one of you off enough to invent the fan-sized, eco-friendly AC unit.

PEACE