Summer is here! And with it my work has brought a shitload of annoyances. But have no fear, I’m taking a vacation next week. Suck on that!
That’s right, this Suite author will be living in the lap of luxury for the next two weeks on the beautiful
In some unrelated notes, I thought I should give you all an update on some recent events:
1. I attended a wedding of some close friends over the weekend. The following shenanigans ensued:
a. With a lisp in my voice, the groom and I purchased his unity candle at Michael’s. To which the cashier responded with, “That’s okay, we allow that here. It’s Michael’s.”
b. As per my usual, I ripped a hole in the knee of my tux while doing a knee slide to an MJ song (Billy Jean, to be exact).
c. I watched a morbidly obese kid get shoveled into the back of a pick up truck outside of O’Blarney’s after he passed out from drinking.
d. I went home with a bride’s maid.
e. I did NOT throw up on my mother in law’s car on the way home. Yes! Finally proof that I’m not a raging alcoholic.
Well, that’s really all I’ve got right now. I’ll be leaving the Suite to Ronsie for the next two weeks. I’ve assigned him the following homework:
1. Come in to work stumbling-drunk.
2. Make awesomeness happen in the office while I’m out.
3. Get lucky.
4. Have a most radical Fourth of July Weekend, possibly get arrested.
5. Insult a complete stranger.
6. Rent The Onion Movie and write a review on the Suite.
7. Find the new cartoon that Seth McFarlen will be producing only on the Web.
8. Discover a new species of insect in the
9. Wake up one morning in
10. Commit at least five Seattle Clichés. Visiting the observation deck at the Needle counts.
11. Say at least one outrageous thing on a conference call. Example, “oh man, I just laughed so hard I pooped a little.”
12. Find a guest blogger to write on the Suite about how this blog has changed their life, or how it has not changed their life at all.
13. Document all of the above on the Suite.
With that, I bid you all a good day. Talk with you in late July.
2 comments:
What?! We're allowed to openly talk about the night you threw up out of the window...? Cool, that is so going in my lexicon of funny party stories. Have a fun time in Hawai'i!
"Why's the window getting rolled down? Oh, that's why."
Yeah, I suppose enough time has passed that we can talk about it. And if you ever bring it up in front of family, I'll just deny it.
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