Once upon a time you could inflict moral and mental pain on someone with the simplest of insults. For example: Your momma is so fat she can't wipe her own behind. Hey, 1985 called, they'd like you to return their hair cut. I could have done that better than you if I had no hands or feet.
Unfortunately, some of those insults just don't quite cut it anymore. That's why I've taken to the philosophy that you can really rile someone's feathers by taking something as simple as a fraction and combining it with the word "retarded." The premise is so simple and elegant, anyone can become a pro at what I'm going to start calling, "the Fractard" insult.
For example, you watch someone driving their car, changing lanes without blinkers or checking their mirrors and blind spots. Pretty annoying, huh? That person is likely 1/5 retarded.
If you're in a restroom, and you see someone finish their business and leave the lavatory without washing their hands, that person is likely 3/4's retarded.
The size of the fraction determines the weight of the insult. Fully retarded doesn't work. Becuase then you're just calling someone mentally challenged, and if they really are, that's not cool. However, if you catch a competent human doing something annoying or stupid, you'd best start matching up their idiotness with the correct fraction. Keep in mind a larger fraction doesn't always mean a more impactful insult.
If you don't understand this theory, you might be 1/3 retarded.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment