World War III

Soldier, it's time for your briefing.

Many thought it would come at our weakest moment. Some thought it would be an inevitable battle between the U.S. and an Asian country. Others thought it would be the U.S. in the Middle East (wait a second...?). And still, others thought it would be us, and not a country at all, but rather, the terrorists.

Well, rest easy my friends. WWIII will not take the form of country versus country, years-long war that will involve the draft, WMDs, or the senseless loss of hundreds-of-thousands of lives. No, not at all. WWIII has been underway for about a week now.

Stay strong in this, our most challenging hour. We must band together like the soldiers before us. There will be but one winner in this war; and we all know who that winner will be.

Soldier, we're sending you in. We're relying on you to bring resolution to this massive conflict. The facts that you need to know:

1. B's house has been infiltrated by the vermin of our community. First and foremost, the common deer mouse. It appears the enemy has made bunker between the walls of B's Kitchen and restroom. squealing and scratching through all hours of the night, this enemy must be stopped. This enemy will use biological warfare if necessary.
   
2. The deer mouse is not alone. Unfortunately in this challenging time, an enemy of ours has joined forces with the deer mouse. It is no other than the dreaded raccoon, or Procyon lotor. Based on our re-con, the raccoon has taken nest below B's back porch with its brothers. Crawling, prowling, just waiting for it's chance to strike at a neighbor's pet or some garbage.
   

The good news, we have an alli on the inside.

Your alliance is with private Casse Cat. She will aid you in your time of most need. She knows the ins and outs of your battle field. She has studied the enemy and has the info you will need to subdue said enemy. You'll also be aided by recent technologies such as the no-kill trap for the raccoon. Unfortunately, as with any war, there will be casualties... We're bringing out a full-force mine field of mouse traps for the deer mouse and his army. It's sad, but no one ever said war was pretty.

Stay strong, soldier. We need you. Your country is counting on you; as are the inhabitants of B's house. Will will have victory!