This week you can vote for the name of the new MLS (that’s major league soccer) team here in Seattle. There’s been some great debate over the choosing of a new name and the ushering out of the Sounder nombre.
Let’s go to the game film…
“The team name will be symbolic of the collective excellence we are working hard to create with our club. The identity of the club will ultimately come from making quality decisions at every turn of the road with the opportunity to create a brand unparalleled in American soccer,” said Vulcan Sports & Entertainment President Tod Leiweke.
OK, OK… this sounds good. People working together, being part of the dream… Gimme more.
“The three proposed names each have their own unique story and in addition, we will ensure all of our fans voices are heard as we will include a fourth option, a ‘write-in’ vote for fans who are passionate about another name.”
Wait, what the F? Let’s all be creative, then we’ll stick you in a 3 horse race and let you choose the winner?
Just for the record, the three names are:
Seattle Alliance – Who exactly are we aligning with? Sounds more like a healthcare coverage provider than a soccer club.
Seattle Republic – Don’t get me started here, as if we need another excuse for people in this country to think we’re Mao-loving, Red sympathizing commies… Also, it reminds me of Banana Republic.
Seattle FC – Now, this one will most likely be my choice, but only because it’s the least worst out of the options. FC stands for football club. Here in the United States of the America we don’t call soccer football. We call football football and we call soccer soccer. Sure the rest of the world calls it football, but screw them. The league the new team will play in is even called Major Leage SOCCER. At least with this name you can give them a nickname like other clubs (Red Devils, Blue Devils, etc.). I’d go with Sounders.
One thing people in Seattle don’t like is being told what to do. The other thing they don’t like is agreeing on anything. This will not end well, mark my words.
I’m going to write in the following names, just to be part of the Seattle democratic process:
- The Seattle Whogivesashits
- The Monorails
- The Seattle Whiny Environmentalist Liberation Army
- The Rent Payers (because the only reason they’re making the team is to keep constant money coming in to Qwest Field)
That’s it. I’m too riled up. My cousins in England would be laughing at this right now. I hope they come over here with their soccer hooligan friends and kick our asses.
On a postive note though, we've had our first sighting of Seattle area soccer hooligans
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