Thursday

Thursday,

You should be ashamed of yourself. You're a horrible, horrible day of the week. I bet even your mother is embarrassed of you. What do you really contribute to the week? You're a speed bump in front of Friday. I like to say you're like diherea--once it starts you're committed, but you know you'll feel a lot better once it's over.

Thursday, the next time you start my day with several phone calls at 4:00 a.m., I'm going to make you hurt. And not like that Johnny Cash song, I'm talking prison yard style.

Now, why don't you go hang out with Friday to try and learn a few things. Whatever you do, don't talk to Monday; he's a total dick, and a bad influence. I want you to think about what I've said here. Let's talk next week about what you've learned.