Jesus Phone... check.
Pre-ordered Macbook Air... check
iPod... check
iTunes... check
I'm just laying out my love for all things Apple right now, because the next part of this post isn't going to score me any iTunes bucks with the big mock turtleneck in the valley.
You can take thousands of songs and cram them into a tiny piece of metal and plastic. You can revolutionize the way people listen to, buy and share music. You can save me the time of wating in line with your awesome Apple fanboys waiting to run my credit card through their little scanners as they roam, aimlessly around your beautiful stores. You can consistently create aesthetically pleasing products that also PERFORM. You can virtually alter the course of cell phone manufacturing and offerings with the release of a single device.
Yet, somehow, on this day I want you to get bought my Microsoft and scrapped.
I paid $399 for my iPhone. That gleaming piece of aluminum and glass is the prettiest thing in my life right now, but I know that beauty can't last forever. Thinking that I'd prolong that term of youthful cellphone innocence, I bought a case for my iPhone (at an Apple store). I got it home and was excited to suit my iPhone up. I was about to get crushed...
After suiting my iPhone up in a nice brown number from incase, I noticed that there was no way in hell I'd be able to saddle that JesusPhone back into it's cradle of power at the end of the day. WHY IN THE HELL ARE YOU F-ING WITH ME LIKE THIS? Have I not been good to you?
I've bought nearly every damn iPod you've product vomited onto the market and this is how you repay me? Go to hell Jobso. And when you get there, I hope the place is filled with proprietary software and monopolistic companies that make ugly products and then shove them up your...
Who am I kidding? I can't stay mad at you. Look how cute your products are. They're like little bunnies wrapped in love and send out to the world to bring kisses to the masses.
I'll never treat you like that again Apple. I love you.
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