Seriously. You're pissing me off.
I play good little boy all day long doing your bidding, but for shit sake, just slow down the new product machine just a tad.
I just got my iPhone and I'm still pretty much so in love with it that I'm hoping the marriage laws in WA go right out the window and I can make it Mrs. iPhone Schott very soon. But nooooo... the tech world isn't happy when I'm happy. Instead, they make CES happen (and that in turn takes my partner in crime away from me for a week).
So, instead of letting me be happy with my 42'' 1080p wonder that brings PPV porn into my home and my iPhone, they parade the tech equivalent of 19 year olds in Catholic school girl outfits in front of me all week long at CES: cell phones with a happy ending, TVs as thin as Mary Kate Olson, Homeplug technologies that make my RCA boombox look like a handcrank phonograph, etc.
I understand you have to make money and because of idiots like me, you always will. I have affluenza. I got diagnosed last year, but I don't really want to do anything about it. I'll buy the new TV and I'll buy the new phone, but please, can't you just give me like 4 months alone with my products before you start parading these little hussies of new products in front of me and my friends?
I'm looking at you Jobsy, you little mock turtleneck loving warlock. Don't avert your eyes. You too Balmer you sly balding minx.
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