As I approached the Store24 on Boyle street, a homeless man looked to me and said, "spare it if you got it, brother, please remember." Why, please let me ask, do I always get approached by the dread-locked, soiled, desperate people without homes in foreign cities?
I sat in the airport in Philly and listened to an inherent Irish-catholic drone on about the 15 misdemeanors he had acquired before the age of 16. He was all, "damn, you know damn, I was up in Compton and these dudes approached me and they was like whaaa, and I was like whaaaa and that was when I just had to throw down you know what I'm saying?" NO! I don't know what you're saying. You're barely speaking English!
Traipsing through the city streets of Bawston in a town car I came to the quick realization that life would be a lot simpler if we all had our very own Dr. Cox. You know, someone to call me a sissy, tell me to buck up, and accept the fact that sometimes you just have to accept what the world deals you--soiled homeless people begging you for change.
Did I mention it's hot here? It's like 96 degrees. I've been awake for 13 hours on less than 3 hours of sleep. Something about hot, muggy, "it smells like..." weather just isn't cool; and shouldn't be taken with sleep or a small meal.
If only I had a few more days and pop-culture references I could write more; but I won't. Let me just leave you with this: In a matter of hours, it'd be the biggest story from Boston to Budapest!
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***LOUD WHISTLE***
(In Dr. Cox voice) Listen up LaVerne. Yeah, that's right, going with old-time comedy females today.
Just because you think you know what it's like to be pestered by lowlifes all day doesn't mean you reaaaaallly have it that bad.
Take, for example, every time I walk down the street and get pandered by every bum with a sign and a sharpie. Just because my jeans don't have holes in them doesn't mean I'm any better off than you bud. I'd actually trade you lives, if only for one day, to spend my time willy nilly drinking from paper bags and doing generally nothing.
Aaaaaaand it was all wasted on you wasn't it? You're off in your own little dreamland thinking about your next installment in the Mario and Luigi saga... LAVERNE!
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