I heart conference calls

My dearest conference call:

You are my foe and my savior. You host the hours of my day that are my own personal hell. My own road to perdition. I especially like the way you encourage people to think outside of a box, that's just inside a larger box--which in my imagination would also be inside a grocery bag. That's why I'm going to start getting people to think outside the bag.

You're only really thinking if you're thinking outside the bag. Otherwise you might just be another douche bag trying to "shift the paradigm by thinking outside the box." Don't be a douche bag unless you hail from douchelandia (look at a map).

Which brings me to my next point, are you thinking outside of the delivery van? That's some real fifth-dimension s%*&t. Well, they're saying my name, I'd better get back to thinking inside the box...